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Feedback gets talked about a lot, but rarely practiced with intention. For most leaders, it’s a task, not a skill.

“Give feedback.” the boss says to the leader.

“Receive feedback.” the leader says to the employee.

But what if we were intentional about the Why, How, Who, What and When of feedback? What if we treated it like a two way, performance enhancing, trust building super-skill that it can be?

• Why Feedback: This is the most obvious answer, sort of. Feedback matters because none of us have a 360° view. It reveals what’s in our blind spots.. It helps our teams understand that they did a good job and can do even better. It also serves as a trust builder. When given well, feedback says “I care enough about you that I am going to help you eliminate those things that I know others will notice and use to discount you.”

• How: This is where even great leaders stumble daily. Feeback should be given against the issue, not the person. Replace “you failed at…” with “I would receive this better if you did it this way…” even better, the best feedback is given when posed as a question: “Where do you think you should improve…” Feedback, when constructive, should be provided in a private setting. Praise in public, construct in private.

• Who: Positive feedback should be shared with the entire universe. Constructive feedback should be shared with the individual or team that needs to hear it.

  • You, as the giver of feedback, should also offer to receive feedback. it should be two ways. “How can I have resourced you better?”

  • Peer-to-peer feedback should also be encouraged. If someone on your team has a comment about their peer, encourage them to take that comment directly to them, but first make sure they know the components of good feedback.

• What: Make sure you are limiting your feedback to those things that are most productive. You don’t need to go over the entire list of failures. Cover the things that can be improved and save the rest for the next experience, or don’t cover them at all. Some idiosyncrasies are yours alone and will come off as petty.

• When: This is the most ignored facet of feedback.

  • Positive feedback should be given immediately and repeated during the constructive feedback.

  • Constructive feedback should not be given immediately, but not saved for too late. If the feedback is on a presentation or performance, let your team have the moment to breath, to feel the accomplishment of completion. You should already have an after-action meeting scheduled for the next day, so save the constructive feedback for that. But DON’T sit on it too long or you risk your team going down the wrong road thinking everything is ok.

Notice I never call it “negative” feedback. Anytime you give your thoughts on performance/appearance/ behavior, it should be actionable. Negative feedback only serves to degrade, constructive feedback serves to upgrade.

When learned and delivered intentionally, feedback serves as a trust builder, performance enhancer, and growth accelerator. Done well, feedback doesn’t just change performance, it changes trust. And that changes everything.

PS - Parents, this is just as important at home. These principles work really well outside of the workplace!

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